Ambien. No doubt about it.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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