What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
