I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize