Everything about him screamed your future.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
