I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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