if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Small penises have feelings too.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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