I think I died a long time ago.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize