Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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