That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have fence marks all over my body
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