? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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