I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
