oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
