dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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