I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize