I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
