i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
