Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
