I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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