At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
