How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
