Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
