WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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