Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
