we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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