I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
