I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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