none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
