Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
