1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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