You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize