Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
