I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
