So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
