Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
