Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize