Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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