i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There r osticjed everywhere
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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