Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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