I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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