he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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