It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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