Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
