my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
