i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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