Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize