she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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