OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
