Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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