i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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