im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
