She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize