I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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