The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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