remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
What a dumb baby whore.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
