Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize