so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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