ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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