I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
