Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize