No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
pop tarts are not kleenex
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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