lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
