Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
please don't ironically join a cult
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