We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
