I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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