yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
