First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im just a social blackout drinker.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
